Been pondering about issues yet again, it seems that i'm at another crossroad in my life where the choice of stepping into a pair of shoes bigger than my feet presents itself. The last time it has happened was when I was in army, having to fill the gap whilst they look for someone to replace my direct superior. This time the opportunity/crisis presents iteself once again. Opportunity or crisis is how one would see it, depending on the lens I'm wearing and from which angle i'm approaching this issue. God knows what's best but I guess He's just allowing me to make the decision. The questions of "What if...." would continue to surface, though they are all hypothetical, becoming a reality seems possible. I would wish to take a dive but am afraid that I'd never surface to the top. On the other hand, if i don't take the plunge, I may just miss out on the treasure that's beneath the sea. Hopefully God speaks on this situation soon, quite a big decision, at least for the stage of life that I'm in at the moment.

Been thinking about education yet again, with the results of PSLE some parents would consider getting 240s or 250s a not so good result. I really wonder what do these parents want? Academic excellence is greatly prized in Singapore and possibly in Asian societies eg China, South Korea(they are probably just as bad or worse than Singapore) and sometimes it makes me wonder if Meritocracy is based on academic excellence. Merit could take various forms like, work ethics, talent, hardwork, character but i guess we have narrowed it down to academics. Academics isn't bad, education is good. I love knowledge but hate exams. I would use the knowledge read or learnt from books or leveraging on people to help make sense of the world I live in. Learning knowledge is good and I think the best thing that education can do for a person is to widen our perspectives, looking things from another angle, reading against the grain of popular literature, critically analysing situations that presents itself. I love the process and through intellectual discussions with peers and schoolmates, it helps to widen my horizon as they may bring up a point which i've not seen or approached.

In life, there are many things that one needs to consider when making decisions, the most complex of all are human beings. Every individual's experiences are unique though similar to others, they are never the same. Making decisions in any case requires taking into account every other system that would be affected by the decision itself. It has helped me in broadening my perspective about why people do the things they do. Why does leadership do certain things, we need to consider from their perspective. I've probably been quite critical previously about church leadership but but gradually i've learnt to see it from their perspectives, their limitations and ultimately, they are responsible and accountable to God. If I do have a differing view, I would offer it and substantiate my view but should they not accept it, i would flow with the leadership and support what they are doing. They have been appointed by God. Even in the army, i would give differing views to my superiors and gave my own personal preference but I allowed my superior to make the decision cos ultimately he is responsible and not me. People need to think more to be able to see things better cos things do not appear as what they seem to be.

I guess I'm still thinking through the situation that i'm currently in, evaluating my choices for accepting and declining, how would the systems that i'm in be affected by my decision. Is it worth it? Human rationale can only go that far, God's word and direction is never wrong so I should heed God's direction. Now the question remains, how do you reconcile the 2 dichotomous ideas. If God should tell us what to do then why do we need to rationalise things since His ways are right? Probably not making much sense as the more i type my brain doesn't seem to function quite well. I may revisit this area again though I think I have an answer. (rationalisation comes in again) Probably ain't making sense in the last few lines haha! oops Tuesday, November 28, 2006 at 4:42 PM

Sorry to those who have been wanting to read a new entry from me. Pardon me as I've been rather caught up with schoolwork and etc and at times the inspiration to write doesn't seem to be coming. Found some time now to write a couple of thoughts.

The Evangelical world has been shaken by a scandal by a reknowned Pastor in America. If you haven't known, Ted Haggard was involved in some homosexuality scandal. Ironic in that he was a strong activist against homosexuality marriages. It doesn't seem to be logical that he would be involved in homosexuality but here are some thoughts that I have about the whole scandal.

Firstly, it just goes to show that no matter how great a preacher seems to be, he has his failings and weaknesses. It breaks my notion at least thinking that great pastors live a "perfect" life. Though I know that no one is perfect but I held the idea that they didn't have to deal with "major" sins. Sin is still sin no matter how big it is, the only big thing is the repercussions that follow. How many and who are affected as a result of it. It reminds me to be on guard at all times like in Proverbs 4: 23 where it says," Above all else, gurad your heart for it is the wellspring of life".

Secondly, I believe it's the grace of God in his life that such a thing was exposed. I believe that God disciplines those He loves and we should see this in a positive light that this is a good chance for Ted Haggard to rehabilitate. God loves him and hence allowed such a thing to happen. His grace is sufficient.

Thirdly, God still loves His people despite the Pastor falling into sin. Imagine for 3 years, Pastor Ted was involved in such a scandal and yet he was still able to deliver powerful sermons and lead the church. I would say that it is God's love that the annointing still continues to flow and God does not want His church to suffer as a result of one man's failiings.

Lastly, what would happen to the church? It is a mega church with 14k members and Ted Haggard is the church most prominent person akin to local examples of Kong Hee and Joseph Prince. We would see if the numbers do decrease. If it happens to either of the local pastors mentioned, i would wonder what the repercussions would be. That's probably the risk that churches who depend on one main pastor face. Sometimes i feel it's like charisma leading the church rather than the word of God.

Another issue close to my heart would have to be the rise in GST. Sometimes i really question the motives as such increases never benefit people as least that's what my textbook says. In Hong Kong, the people would take it out to the streets in protest. In Singapore, this is not possible and I don't know if the government would address issues regarding the hike.

They say the increase in GST is to help the poor but ain't the poor taxed by GST in a similar fashion? It's like taxing from them and then paying them back. The amount of benefit the poor receive is probably close to zero but psychologically the poor would see it in better light. The middle class would suffer the most and this would be the large populace composition in Singapore. The additonal tax would be used to finance the cut in Corportate taxes. Rich businessmen would benefit from this. The income gap would continue to widen as a result.

Well, no point elaborating too much on the situation but the only thing to do is pray for God to give our government wisdom and maybe it's time for Christians to contribute even more to the community. Wednesday, November 15, 2006 at 12:35 PM

My Mum brought up this issue during our family prayer time just now. The thing about parents being the spiritual authority which should be the case as the role of bringing up a kid in the Lord lies on the shoulder of the parents. That is supposed to be the case but i guess the actual situation is far from ideal where parents are abandoning their God given roles to the cell leaders and Youth/Children Pastors. It's a bleak situation as parents see the kids for the majority of the week but youth pastors or cell leaders only see them for a couple of hours per week. They are just looking for a quick fix and when things do not go right, the ministry would be questioned. On the flipside, do leaders overwrite or rather cross the boundaries into the domain of the parents? Would questions like " Tell me about it, I won't tell your parents." bring ethics into question. Is it right or is it wrong? I'm still thinking about it from various angles and when you read it, think about it from the biblical perspective. What does the bible say about the role of leaders, the role of parents. How can both complement each other. I believe parents and cell leaders would be great partners in creating a vibrant youth ministry.

The other thing I'm thinking about with respect to Sat's service is whether invitation of prophetic speakers becomes a sort of idolatry where people want their future told? Are we seeking that or what's the motive behind such speakers? How is it so that when there are known prophetic speakers the attendance shoots up by quite a significant number. Is there such a lack of the prophetic voice that it creates such euphoria whenenver a prophet is in town? Where then are the prophets in the local church? How should the church help nurture the five fold ministry? I've seen development in 4 ministries but it seems that the nurturing of the prophetic ministry isn't that prevalent. Quite some questions there.

It's been an interesting sat service where it felt really weird but i guess God is still in control and He still reigns. Just leave a comment if you have any thoughts about the issues raised above. Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 11:19 PM

Well, there's nothing really great to update about. Still being plagued and bogged down by certain things as I write this post. Though life has been going on quite fine at the moment and all there are still issues that have sort of resurfaced every now and then to which I have no answer to.

Heard of another person going off overseas on FMS(Father Mother Scholarship)and someone mentioned that why is it that people who go overseas are valued highly than those with a local degree and for some, they can't even make it to a local uni? I have no answer to that, it's not that we want to study in Singapore and all that, who doesn't want to have an overseas education? I want to study in the States but the lack of financial resources prevents me from going there, not that i'm not able but I can't. Probably jealousy is a cause for all these sentiments and I should be contented that I've the opportunity to a uni education. On the other hand, money seems to be a determinant factor for a person's future, got cash then go overseas cos overseas uni is supposedly better than local uni. I guess, only the future will tell whether all these are proven right though i still hold onto the hope that God would establish the work of my hands. If God's favor is upon me, whom then shall I fear. Maybe one day, I'll get the chance to do post grad stuff in the States. Harsh realities of life.

Ministry does get on my nerves as well, I wonder very frequently whether I'm on the right track, it's been alot of toiling these past few years and I'm quite tired sometimes by the situations that I encounter...maybe jaded from all the years of fighting and doing things. If there's a fire that's been ignited, very quickly the fire would be put out. Not sure how long can this pair of legs still run, 1 year, 2 years? Only a divine intervention of a great magnitude could probably salvage the situation. In a nutshell, a miracle.

There is no way I could lesser my committements, it's tough to do something when you don't really feel like doing it but because I have to do it and so I do it. I'm not sure if this should continue i would move on to the ministry of bench warming in future. Too few people doing the same job. I guess those that can do a certain job should start availing themselves instead of being asked.

Over and above all these problems, there's still a resolve within me which sings, "Our God Reigns. Forever Your Kingdom Reigns." Christ in me the hope of Glory. Waiting for the break of another brand new day where it's summer's day rather than a winter's day(daytime is shorter in winter than summer).

Learning to trust in God everystep and it's getting harder. There's something to be learnt. Thursday, August 17, 2006 at 1:18 AM